So Long! Farewell

Yes, this is it, the last update before we get home, it feels like only two minutes ago that we landed in Bangkok. Still, time has flown because we have had more fun than we ever imagined so we can´t complain at all. The final two and a half weeks were no exception either so we´ll let you know what we got up to.

As you know the last time we wrote we were locked in an internet cafe avoiding the sticks of dynamite being casually thrown around the streets of Uyni in Bolivia awaiting a bus to take us on an unexpected detour back through the moutains we had just come over and into Northern Chile. All that went without hitch (well apart from the usual two hours hanging around in the freezing cold at 8am in the morning waiting for the locals to decide who will drive the bus/who will count the tickets etc) and we managed to get back to San Pedro in one piece. Unsurprisingly the place was rammed with other travellers unable to get into Bolivia, so we had a fraught hour of negotiations at the bus station trying to find a bus out of San Pedro which wasn´t full. Luckily our friends Dave and Sarah who we met on the Salt flats trip spoke some Spanish or I think we would still be stuck there now doing wheels on the bus style sign language! However a couple of hours after arriving we were off on another bus up to Iquique further up Northern Chile where we had two nights of utter luxury in a hostel which actually had HOT WATER, CLEAN SHEETS and a TV! Heaven.

Iquique was a nice enough town on the seaside and we decided to make to most of our forced trip there by going to see the local sights. Our first stop was a town called Humberstone which is a ghost town that was deserted in the 1950s when the mining industry collapsed, however the conditions the people lived in were better than most of the modern towns we´ve seen in South America! The next sight was supposedly the largest archealogical representation of a man called El Gigante, however it looked more like something a kid a made in the sand with a bucket and spade, even Alex looked gigantic next to it! To make up for El Tiny we went a few El Boozers with Dave and Sarah who had shared the experience with us and drank a lot of great Chilean red wine.

Next morning at 7am with very sore heads we started the long trip to Cusco in Peru. The first stop was Arica on the Chile side where we had to get a collectivo (otherwise known as a 1960 Ford Anglia with wheels held on by string and as many people crammed in as possible) across the border. From Tacna on the Peru side we then caught a freezing overnight bus to Cusco stopping at every market on the way and collecting every toothless old lady wearing bowler hats trying to sell us oranges, gloves, slices of cheese or a lump of meat whatever you prefer.
We were greeted in Cusco by three friendly faces, Tom, Lindsey and Dave, just in time to celebrate Toms birthday. We kindly bought him a woolen gimp mask which are very popular in Peru and had a very messy night out kick started by ten choruses of happy birthday with accompanying panpipe band.

Cusco is a gorgoeus town where all the travellers convene to start the various Inca Trails. Unfortunately, due to the popularity of the Inca Trail we couldn´t get a place on it (despite trying to book it 10 weeks in advance!), However, every cloud has a silver lining and for the first time in our trip we did an alternative trip with the "real travellers", the Inca jungle trek. The first day involved a 38km downhill off road mountain bike ride (Ruth got the bus) and I got the nickname Schumacher, not because Im a boring Kraut but because I was so quick! That night we stayed in a remote peruvian village where the local football field was covered in coffee beans and the only traffic on the roads were roosters, pigs, cows and a couple of bulls, one of which took a shine to a member of our group and tried to skewer him with its horns. Long gone are the days of being scared of Gekkos, our room that night was infested with bats! The second day involved setting the alarms for 4am and starting to walk at 4.30am. The first 2 hours were uphill being chased by turkeys and rabid dogs, although nothing as scary as the red face of Ruth and the expletives coming out of her mouth. The views were amazing and we were treated to fresh oranges, pineapples, bananas and papayas at a tiny little farm. The afternoon hike was flatter than the morning to Ruths relief, however her face was a picture when she saw the means of transport across the river. We were told we would cross the river by a cable car, what we did not expect was a piece of suspension wire, with a basket hanging from it and a piece of rope to pull ourselves across at a height of 40ft above a raging river. The only consolation was the thermal springs and cold beers waiting for our blistered feet just at the other side. The 3rd day of trekking was easier, we started at 9am, the terrain was flat and downhill and at lunchtime we found a train to take us the rest of the way, (of course I wanted to walk but couldnt leave Ruth alone on the train!).

The grand finale was the visit to Macchu Picchu, the lost city of the Inkas, which for some stupid reason they built at the top of yet another mountain. Because we were with ¨real travellers¨ we had to get up at 4am again in order to walk up the mountain before the sunrise. The one hour uphill climb tested our relationship to the maximum, Ive never seen anyone so angry as Ruth when she crawled over the last step to see the tourist bus pull up, which had set off an hour after we had woken up! However, Macchu Picchu was amazing and well worth every bead of sweat and every tear jerking blister. We particularly enjoyed being showed around the ruins by a guide who must be the love child of Manuel (Fawlty Towers) and Fronk (the wedding planner in Father of the Bride), it wasnt only the blisters jerking tears, he was seriously painful.

After a hard 4 days we escaped back to Cusco for a few days of relaxation, which we happily shared with our friends Jody and Amy,who we met in Australia, and had finally escaped from tear gas in Bolivia! We thought a spot of the local fare was in order, so we ordered two of the finest Cuy al Horno otherwise known as roast Guinea Pig. When the guinea pigs were placed on the table Ive never seen Ruth move so quickly ( I should have chased her up the Inca trek with one of them). Despite all of Ruths pre serving bravado she was put to shame by Amy who wolfed it down but carefully avoided its two front teeth and little crispy feet ah bless!

Unfortunately time was running out and we had to leave but yet again our plans were thwarted by ANOTHER political demonstration (we have seen at least one in each country in south america) in the form of road blocks. We could not go to Lake titicaca and had to go straight to Arequipa instead with Lindsey Dave, Tom and the rest of their gang. The local bus that arrived to take us was not the one promised and did not fare too well when going over a mountain around hairpin bends on an un-tarmaced road. In fact it is safe to say we were all a touch concerned when the bus stopped and all the local men piled out and started walking back up the road we had just travelled down in search of a piece of the steering column. An hour later it was re-attached (best not to ask how) and despite the odds we made it.

Because we had a bit more time than anticipated in Arequipa Alex convinced me it was a good idea to do another two day treck this time down and then back up the worlds deepest canyon. No problem I thought (secretly counting on there being another tourist bus) and before I knew it we were on another local bus heading over another mountain on another un-tarmaced road arriving in another remote town inhabited by roosters, pigs, bulls and donkeys. After a bit of brekkie and a slight pause to watch a calf being born we were on our way walking down the canyon and the first thing we saw were several Andean Condors soring above our heads....they were unbelievably huge. The first day was descending 1200 meteres down hill which took me and Lindsey an hour longer than everyone else and took eight hours in total. The sheer drops at the side of me had my knees knocking in fear but not nearly as much as the sight of the path back up scheduled for the following morning....by now I had realised there was no access for transport of the motorised kind...it was by foot or by mule.

I had lured Ruth onto this trek with the promise that if she thought the uphill walk the next morning was going to be difficult we would hire a mule to carry her up. Unfortunately for her there were no mules at the bottom of the canyon so along with the rest of us she had to wake at 3.45am and begin the thigh burning 3 hour hike back up the 1200m to the top of the canyon, luckily it was full moon so it was quite bright. Being the gentleman that I am and un able to take anymore ear bending, I walked off and left her. However, on reaching the top I expected to be waiting an hour for Ruth, but 15mins later she appeared! I am sure she hitched a ride with a passing donkey but she claims she walked the whole way! (My motivation was a cup of tea and an egg sandwich but the cheesie 80s tunes we all sang along to while eating breakfast was a bonus). We can safely say it is th hardest thing either of us has ever done (and at least one of us will never be repeating it).

After one more day in Arequipa we took our last overnight bus journey to Lima where we are now waiting our flight to Los Angeles and a few days touching up the suntans on Venice Beach before flying back to England on Saturday. Before we sign off for the last time we thought you might like some of our cheesy travel stats, highlights and low lights to keep you going until you see us in the flesh. Here goes.....

Days travelling 239
Countries visited 12
Number of flights 17
Hours on bus 345
Beds slept in 54
Books read Ruth 45
Books read Alex 44
Cinema visits 19
Photos taken 1800
Things lost Lonely Planet, Trainers, Alexs Sanity
Things gained Weight

Things we wont miss....
Dormatories (snorers/trumpers/plastic bag rustlers/bright early birds)
Travel talk (where are you coming from/going to/how long for/how long left..sorry whats your name?)
Real travellers (no shoes, dreadlocks, only off the beaten track, haggle with the locals for 20p despite the fact the locals are starving and they can aford a round the world trip, McDonald haters)
Laundry service (all clothes now grey/pink/shrunk or vanished)
Crap Tea (water, tea bag of NORMAL tea, fresh milk served seperately, in a cup. HOW HARD IS IT?)

Thanks for all you emails and texts with all the goings on at home. Looking forward to seeing you all over a nice cup of English tea (or maybe a beer or two).